This may sound ridiculous, but the last few days I completely forgot that I had a blog. I would read others and not remember that I had one of my own that I had to update.

Anyways...

Joe, Mike, and Ian left about two hours ago. It was a fun night; we watched The Crow and played some games. It's nice to hang out in a bigger group; I get to hang out with those guys so infrequently, it's great to see a bunch of them at once.

I just got done watching another movie, Solaris, which was decent. It wasn't a great movie, but it was very...human. I thought it was good, but it wasn't a movie I would sit through again. The entire thing was so low key, almost like Lost Highway.

Even though I had a relaxing, fun, and enjoyable night, a few things are bothering me. First, there's Colin. He told me he would call me back yesterday (although it probably worked out for the better, I got to see Julie) and he never bothered to. It makes me feel both hurt and angry. I was thinking to myself yesterday "Is this all that I mean to him? He can't take 20 seconds to call me and tell me he can't do anything?" I justified it by saying "I bet something came up, he'll call me tomorrow, I'm sure of it." The tomorrow is now yesterday and I haven't heard from him. I read his blog and he just goes on and on about his other friends and the things he's doing with them. I feel left behind, even though I probably shouldn't. We're supposed to go to haunted houses today; I told Colin about the plans on Sunday. I'm debating whether or not I should call him. I don't think I will. I think that if Colin were really looking forward to hanging out, he would take the initiative and call me; he knows about the plans and if he wants to, he'll call me. I guess if he doesn't then I'll know just how little he cares about our fading friendship.

I know I have so many other people in my life that wouldn't do what he does, but for some reason, I always give Colin a second chance. I guess I never want to even think about the idea that he doesn't want me as a friend anymore. But, maybe I'm at a point where I should at least consider the possibility. Who knows, maybe he got bored with me, after all, I have known him for almost 5 years now. Perhaps this is the next logical progression; out with the old, in with the new. Discarded without a second glance; that's the way life works...

School is getting tough. I'm doing terrible in math and just average in my other subjects. In all honesty, I think jumping off my parking structure would help to alleviate the pressure that's being applied by my parents. It's a thought that I entertained for a few minutes today. Would I actually do it? No; but it's a thought that catches my fancy.

I feel weird, neither a good weird nor a bad weird; just different. I think it's fatigue, mixed with a little emptiness. I can't explain it.

Ah well, it's going on 3 AM, better head off to the perpetual nightmares.

Goodnight...